why I wanted to read 50 books

For as long as I can remember, getting me to read a book was like that old-fashioned teeth-pulling method where you wrap a string around your tooth, attach the other end to a doorknob, and then slam it shut. It worked, but there sure was a lot of unnecessary pain involved. There was also kicking. And screaming. And, much to my chagrin, there wasn’t a book fairy flitting around and leaving dollar bills under my pillow in exchange for reading books.

When I was a senior in high school I decided it was time to change my relationship with books. I was a budding writer, had written an 85,000 word novel at 12 years old, and still claimed that I hated to read. At 17, I finally accepted the truth: writers simply must also be readers. There is no other way.

I soon found that reading didn’t have to be like pulling teeth and even came to like it when given the opportunity to select my own books. Then college came around and things got all screwy again; I kept trying to make myself read by force—and it failed miserably. My newfound love for reading was squashed yet again.

The difference was that, this time, I didn’t want to stop reading. So I made myself a goal: read 50 books in a year. And, well, the first time I failed by almost 20 books. So I tried again, but this time I added a clause: read 50 books in a year and blog about each one.

This time, I succeeded—and even read more than my goal.

the lessons

In one of the most hectic years of my life, which was filled with change around every corner, I had one constant: reading was always a safe place to land, because no matter what I was experiencing, there was a book to get me through. In brainstorming this post, I came up with more than 15 things I learned from reading 50 books in 2018. Although I am tempted to share every last lesson, I think it fair that I leave some for you to learn on your own.  Below, however, are the top 3 things I learned by reading 50 books in 2018.

lesson one

In our fast-paced, productivity-centered society, reading is of vital importance to resisting the rush and reconnecting with our humanity.

Everything that we consume shapes us, from the food we eat to the conversations that we have. We are surrounded by messages telling us hurry, go, go, go, and these practices can harm us on a soul-level. When we wake up and immediately scroll through social media, we are being formed into people who rely upon social media for entertainment, fulfillment, and satisfaction. The rhythms we do and do not partake in are altering who we are, and most of the rhythms we live in today are not creating within us positive formations, but malformations. Reading, however, is a rhythm that heals.

Reading can expand your vocabulary, increase your attention span, and expand your worldview—but only if you are willing to leave your phone in the other room, turn off the television, and actually do it.

Time and time again I caught myself being pulled in five different directions when I was trying to read. One thing is for sure: you can’t read 50 books in a year if you spend all of your dedicated reading time dedicated to other things. Stories are rhythms, too, and they impact every aspect of our lives; we’ll never remember who we are on a spiritual and intellectual level if we spend all of our time pretending that the only stories that matter are the ones we find on Instagram.

lesson two

Humans have been battling the same demons since we began: my sufferings have never belonged solely to me.

It’s tempting to believe the experiences that have shattered me have been unique to my story and that no one else in the world could possibly understand. At some point in time, I think we all believe that about our pain. We want to believe that we are alone in bearing a cross that only we could know. I am an individual; my successes belong to me, and my failures are mine alone. This is the American way.

How prideful, how naïve.

When you read 50 books in a year, you begin to see how connected we are to each other. My pain belongs to me, but it also belonged to another before I knew how it felt to stand in the sun. We are not alone, and we never have been.

When we isolate ourselves in the belief that nobody understands, we become static background characters in our own stories. We were not meant to live this way! We can learn and grow and become the dynamic characters we were always meant to be, but that cannot happen in a vacuum of isolation. It is community that allows us to be dynamic. Characters never changed without outside influence—just the same, you were never meant to battle through life on your own.

lesson three

Books have the power to take you any place and any time—you are not condemned to the here and now.

I have never left the country, but I have deep understandings of far-away cultures because I have pursued their stories.

Nor have I ever been in a war, but I have great sorrow for the destruction that follows because I have walked in the proverbial shoes of soldiers.

No, I have never been an alcoholic, a bull fighter, a mother, an immigrant, a criminal, a pilot, or a tribal chief, but I have learned from their stories.

There were times when all I could bring myself to read were Nancy Drew novels; there were other times I could think of nothing else but the intense pain and suffering of classic book characters. I never left the country, no, but I walked many miles in the shoes of people who look, speak, and behave nothing like me. I learned from them just how little I know and just how far yet I have to walk.

Books reveal the unknown to us by opening previously locked doors and by bringing into the light what was once in darkness. Empathy, understanding, and shared heartbreak—and healing—bleed from the pages of books and seep into your skin, if you let them. If you do not, however, you will remain locked inside your own story. You will remain condemned by your own time and place.

moving forward

In 2019, I will continue the pursuit of understanding. I will read books from more minority authors and from perspectives that look nothing like my life. It is these books, I have learned, that hold the most power to change us for the better.

What lessons have you carried away from your favorite books? I’d love to hear from you and connect in the journey!

Join me and my beautiful friend Noel at Noel Neverlanding in our #inspired50 challenge. Use the hashtag to share about books you are reading, either by leaving a comment, sending me a message, or following along on Instagram, Pinterest, or Twitter!

before you go…

Below is my official book list from 2018, in order of completion. If you’d like to check out any of my reviews, find them in my Books category!

1. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by JK Rowling
2. …Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling
3. …Half-Blood Prince by JK Rowling
4. …Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling
5. Love Lives Here by Maria Goff
6. Come, Tell Me How You Live by Agatha Christie Mallowan
7. The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger
8. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
9. The Martian by Andy Weir
10. Ruby Holler by Sharon Creech
11. Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline
12. Happiness Sold Separately by Lolly Winston
13. At Bertram’s Hotel by Agatha Christie
14. The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander
15. Christ and Culture by H. Richard Niebuhr
16. Varieties of Religion Today by Charles Taylor
17. Stand Your Ground by Kelly Brown Douglas
18. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
19. The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
20. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
21. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
22. Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
23. Matilda by Roald Dahl
24. The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
25. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
26. …Chamber of Secrets
27. …Prisoner of Azkaban
28. …Goblet of Fire (yes, I counted these twice)
29. …Order of the Phoenix
30. …Half-Blood Prince
31. …Deathly Hallows
32. Nancy Drew: The Sky Phantom by Carolyn Keene
33. Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren
34. Nancy Drew: The Mystery of the 99 Steps by Carolyn Keene
35. Somewhere Green by Karin N. Mango
36. Darkness, My Old Friend by Lisa Unger
37. The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin
38. Love Walked In by Maria De Los Santos
39. The Souls of Black Folk by WEB DuBois
40. The Christian Imagination by Willie Jennings
41. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
42. Redeeming Mulatto by Brian Bantum

43. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han (favorite book of the year!)

44. P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han
45. Always and Forever, Lara Jean by Jenny Han
46. Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer (I did not write a blog post about this book)
47. There You’ll Find Me by Jenny B. Jones
48. Chasing Redbird by Sharon Creech
49. Bloomability by Sharon Creech
50. What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dessen
51. The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen
52. Just Listen by Sarah Dessen
53. Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen
54. Once Upon a Marigold by Jean Ferris
55. Since You’ve Been Gone by Morgan Matson